swal;low one whole bottle feeling

I feel like taking the whole bottle of medicine . I really feel so fed up . Maybe it was today a job agency come . He ask me alot of questions and say my salary is too high. Angry that the company left me dingling and didn't even tell me isit a yes or no . And I am very fed up of my medicine . It is not working on me . It need double dosage to work on me . I am fed up my brother won toto and he spend all his winning stocks on himself . buying a diamand . Somore he take advantage of my mum . With my mum drive me crazy , she spolit all my job opportunities . For nothing she went to tell NTUC ,that I am not interested to work if I couldn't ...whatever fuck and nonsense she say . I lost my income . Suddenly I think some of my friend say right about my family . The most fed up thing is income tax , credit card bills of IMH had been pulling me down . I need to find a job asap . the god all say a job will come at chinese new year . Towards it i am more more specltic.. My funny mum wanted to run away from chinese new year . And then she went to book ticket to go thailand and then say now she had no money . She nag to me , A jobless person . Not the rich brother of mine . I am fed up . And then she buy a new crystal candle light and buy funny thing. All execuses that lucky had passed away . She want a change of enivornment . I grief over the death of my beloved lucky. I missed him alot . I sometimes think I killed him . I put him to sleep . He has diarrahae and his tongue turn grey . I put him to sleep . I everyday have been chanting that he will be removed from suffering and higher rebirth . I afraid that I had no job . Lord . If you exist , read my blogs and start helping me to find a job . All guan yin , Guru rinpoche , bless me to find a job asap .